Does Membership Have Its Privileges?
I just went to Sam’s Club. Yes, it’s pretty white trash, but somehow it feels less trashy than an ordinary Wal-Mart because a membership is required.Even though I’ve been there many times an usually know exactly what I want and where to go to get it, I still find myself getting mentally lost in the huge amount of crap that is available, and the fact that because it’s packaged in bulk, you somehow feel like you are getting a deal.
Today, I wisked through, grabbed what I needed, and waited. And waited. And waited. There are about 20 other “members” who also decided to go to Sam’s to save money and waste time during their lunch hour. I guess this is a new business trend, because the 2 cashiers at Sam’s just were not cutting it.
Finally, I was checked out, only to find myself waiting in another freaking line, behind the same 20 members. This time, though, we are waiting to have our receipts compared to the contents of our shopping baskets. I had 6 items in my basket, but the people in fornt of me are apparently more into saving money, b/c they all have mounds of groceries and other crap in the carts and/or flat beds. As I wait, feeling myself getting more and more impatient, I watch as the grocery-cart-checker-outer studies the receipt, glances at the cart, then back to the receipt, then, using the sharpie in her hand, pokes at the air as though actually counting each item in the cart.
Rain Man doesn’t count toothpicks that fast, and if they did, they would be in Vegas counting cards, not in freaking Irving, Texas, counting the 6 items in my shopping cart!
I contemplated just walking out with my goods. I studied the exit for signs that listed the store’s policy on being inventoried before leaving the building but could find none. Dare I be such a dick that I buck the system? And what would I do if confronted? Surrender my membership?
My foot started to pick itself up off the ground. I was going to do it! I was going to walk out! I was going to be a Huge Phallus!
But then my foot returned itself to its place on the linoleum tile floor, and I waited with the rest of the herd for the Idiot Savant that can count my 6 items without even looking at them.
Sorry, Jim: I had tpo speel check
posted by daveed @ 21.6.07
3 Comments:
I’m sensing a thinly veiled cry for help. Everyone knows that your pseudo bourgeois veneer scantly covers your elitism. Embrace your inner elite child as I have and shop at Super Target for all you household, sundries and after five clothing. Just let it out. The truth will set you free.
Yes, but how do their ties compare to those at Sam's?
At that point all you can do is ask the receipt checker if he or she noticed the stuff in the previous person's back pack.
Where does Costco rank? I like it better than Sam's, but I think it is just Ultegra and 105.
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